Before we started this blog, I used to find myself noticing things in my life that have changed since I got married. In my head, I would kind of tweet the thought to myself (dorky, I know) and add the hash tag “marriagechangesyou.” When Leigh and I were brainstorming ideas for a fun regular feature, I thought that this subject would probably have plenty of entertaining material, as well as opportunity for meaningful reflection. Here goes the first installment of Monday Marriage Musings!
I have always feared/hated spiders. When we got married, my husband, Anthony, often took my concerns to heart by making sure to dispose of the fearsome creatures when I was particularly upset. Sometimes though, he would refuse, insisting that the spiders were helping us by eating other bugs (my response? “SO WHAT. It is a spider. In my house. Get it out.”).
Apparently his philosophy has started to sink in, despite my great efforts to disagree with him. When he was gone on a trip recently, I came across 2 spiders living in the upper corners above our front door. My first reaction was to shudder and swallow a scream. I started to plot their demise. But then I stopped to think about it. I realized that those two spiders were guarding my house from other icky things getting in.
So, I left them alone. I even greeted them in the coming days as I entered the house. A friend helped me name them (Charlotte and Peter, short for Peter Parker. Brilliant!) When Anthony got home, I introduced him to my guard spiders. He remarked that Charlotte looked dead and Peter was on his way out. I couldn’t believe it, but…I actually felt a little sad! Who am I?? These are not adorable little puppies. They are not beautiful flowers. And yet, I felt bad for them and even silently apologized for ever considering smashing them with a shoe.
Yes, marriage changes you.